The Too Much Fun Club

Our Latest Video

2008-02-29T00:48:00.000-08:00

We have finally finished editing the very first video that we shot.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Pencils Down

2008-02-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone.

I know it's been a while, but we have been working on our film careers. Check out our latest effort on revver.

I promise I will be getting back to posting again soon.

The Arbitor Speaks his mind

2007-12-04T23:36:00.000-08:00

Todd's busy.
This sucks.
I'm cold and I want more crickets.

The Beautiful and the Damned

2007-05-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

Is there a better time to start posting again than after a party? I think not.

I recently turned 31 years old and my beautiful wife threw a James Bond themed party in honor of me. This was my type of party...there were many attractive people drinking martinis, dressed in their finest and playing with weapons.

Surprisingly, no one got hurt. Normally there are accidents and bleeding when there is a gathering of this magnitude of the too much fun club. However, in spite (or perhaps because of) the large quantities of gin imbibed, violence was kept too a minimum. There was a scary moment when all of the villains decided to gang up on James Bond, but the bad guys were not trained by her Majesties special forces. And so once again James Bond prevailed over the forces of goodness and got the girl(s).

truly the greatest generation

2007-04-22T23:43:00.001-07:00

In searching the news yesterday (or maybe the day before I really don't remember(...I drink a lot.)) I discovered this incredible story about Venus Ramey. For those of you that don't remember, she was the very first Miss America. This was like in 1944 or something and then she was on painted onto the bombers in WWII.

This chick is in the news again.

Recently, people have been robbing her farm of the farming antiques that she keeps there. On Friday the 13 she discovered the perpetrator. One of her dogs was barking at the barn where she keeps the antiques and she went to investigate. She discovered a man there who said that he was just leaving. She replied "oh no you're not." and this is the important part...balancing on her walker she pulled out her snub nosed .38 and shot out his tires so that he couldn't leave until the police arrived. I think this woman is this weeks hero of the week.

read the full article here.

truly the greatest generation

2007-04-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

here.

Our Trip to Calfornia

2007-04-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hey my name is Tanner and I am Todd's brother this is my first blog. Our trip to California was sweet on Saturday we went to go shopping at the alley where everyone was screaming 5 dolla everthing 5 dolla. But it was bearable once we went to Olvera street because they were doing the blessing of your animals party or somthing. On Sunday we went hiking and got lost and were about half an hour from staying the night in the woods. But then we found the right path and slid down about 40 feet down lose rock to get to it but we made it back. On Monday we went to Venice and Santa Monica which was cool to see all of the street preformers. On Tuesday we went to Malibu to go hike and watch the dolphins which was really fun. On Wednesday we came home and now I can not wait to go back again.

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2007-04-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

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Six Degrees of Dr. K

2007-03-28T00:21:00.000-07:00

Hello True Believers (thanx Stan).

I have, today only, come upon the ultimate secret to our existence. And here it is.

...

We are all deeply involved in a solipsist nightmare in the head of Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

Cool Huh?

The long and short of it is that on the floor of the California senate is a bill that, if passed, would allow hospitals to give terminally ill patients a device called something like,"The painless Choice." The name may not be exactly right but I am going to find the link and put it at the end of this blog for those of you that would like to check my facts. The point is that this is a bill for the legalization of euthanasia.

Correct me if I'm wrong here...

Didn't DR. JACK KEVORKIAN go to jail on May 26, 1999 for exactly that same thing? And is this man, A doctor of the Good Deaths (it's Greek people, look it up,) still in jail with Hep c, and awaiting a parole? The answer is a resounding, YES!!!!

This is ridiculous.

The fact that Dr. K went to Jail in the first place for merely helping people who couldn't help themselves ridiculous, but that the law is on the brink of being passed and he is still in jail so far beyond crazy that it makes me wonder if this is still America or not, much less a reality designed wholly for the torment of one man. It is for these reasons that I now must post a very serious question to you, the faithful reader: Are you within Dr. Kevorkian's 6 degrees of separation? If you are not, please leave a comment on this blog.

No one should have replied to that. You see: the six degrees of separation encompasses

everyone, so we all effect each other, ergo we all effect Dr. K.
If we all effect Dr. Jack, then we are all important to him. And since we all are important to him, then he must be making us all up. Further more, it is all obviously just for the torment of Dr K., therefore he has invented this world as a torment for some Sin he has committed in his past.

Now that we know this, and that our creator will forgive us because we are only doing what he wants, everyone should fuck with Dr. Jack Kevorkian.
Really.
The more you fuck with him, the more he will reward you, it's like the other God, but opposite.
If you are successful in pissing him off, than maybe he will take you into the next world he creates and in that world you will have a role like president, or movie star, or Todd Elliott.

And now...the link:

The Bill

That is a PDF file, download adobe and you should be fine.

There's a Paralell beteween a Martini and a Woman's Breasts

2007-03-26T01:18:00.000-07:00

One is not enough and three are too many.

I hate working like I do. The main issue is money. It always comes down to money. A person can say they want freedom and choice and opportunity and whatever, but all of those things are contingent upon money. Or will at least be greatly facilitated by having it. I get paid minimum wage to be treated like shit by people who believe that they are better than me because they are over paying for over roasted coffee. This is not to say that I didn't fully expect this when I signed up for this ride, I just honestly thought that management would not kowtow to the all mighty dollar and have a slight sense of fairness and propriety.

I was Wrong.

My work environment is so distasteful to me that I have taken to self medication before hand, just so that I can see my shift through to the end with out taking a hostage. Unfortunately tonight I had a Martini, and as you can tell from the title and opening line of this blog, one martini is never enough. So with a friendly little buzz on I drove to work.

I arrived at the Barnes and Nobles with a smile on my face for my co-workers and fellow sufferers of the Starbucks system and jumped onto the register. The very first customer who stepped up to the counter said, "Caramel Machiato...extra hot." not even a how do you do. I was not about to let this guy ruin my mood so I replied, "only if you say please," and grinned. He stared at me for a moment and stormed off. I thought nothing of it until later this evening when I was approached by the manager who said to me, "Todd, we've had a complaint about you tonight." I immediately remembered this shitty little man and his lack of manners, so I said, "yes?" My manager proceeded to talk to me about customer service and what it means to be part of the Barnes and Nobles Team. I explained that I didn't think it was a problem to expect our customers to be polite to us and not treat us like automatons and slaves. My manager told me that the customer was paying for a drink and a service and they could behave how they wanted within reason. I then explained to my manger that it does not amount of good to a society to allow people to pay for something and pretend that that gives them the right to miss-treat their fellow man. Granted may be a tad reactionary and over dramatic, but if common courtesy can be left out for a price, how long till the customer is permitted to use violence. My manger did not agree with me because it is store policy that the customer, no matter how much of an ass hole, is always right and I can do nothing about it.

I did not get fired, I did not quit I didn't even get a write up, I got a simple reprimand. But I am outraged. If I didn't so badly need this job and the measly paycheck that I bring home each week, it would have been another story.

This anecdote however, must remain as an object lesson: A faceless corporation that only cares about the bottom line, and not about the soul of the people that it relies upon to deliver the goods and services to create that bottom line, does not serve society or the individual and will be the first to go when I run this place.

A Guilty Pleasure and Something Extra

2007-03-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

The Guilty Pleasure:

This may seem like the wrong blog for this, but I have a confession. I am not apologizing, and I really don't feel the need to explain myself, however, I need to tell y'all that I thoroughly enjoy Justin Timberlake's new album.
The thing is...it's really good. Really.
He has matured musically and his lyrics no longer sound like bad high school movie dialogue. I recommend that every go and check it.

No onto something more:

Why does every single person in California want more than they pay for?
Every single person that comes up to the counter at the cafe says something along the lines of, "Can I have extra Ice?" or, "I need that extra hot." or "I'll take three shots of white mocha, one of chai, 6 squirts of vanilla, one shot decaf espresso, one shot regular, non-fat soy latte, with whip."
I have worked retail for many years, and yes, almost everyone is rude to the cashier, but what I mean is that Los Angelinos are the most demanding. They are very particular about the order. But what's funny is that they are less concerned with what they actually get then how they word it to you.
My personal belief is that LA is full over nobodies believing that they are somebodies. These wannabes need to convince everyone that they are big...even themselves. They are frustrated in life and so to prove that they have some power and haven't completely wasted their lives, they take that frustration out on cashiers and barristas, because we are definitely not somebodies........yet.

Lobster

2007-03-04T01:41:00.000-08:00

You know whats not fun?

Budgeting.

I decided that I was not living and spending the way that I should, and I came to this realization when I was served with papers twice in the same day. The first saying that I was being sued by Ford Credit for a repossessed car and the second saying that I was being sued by the government for back taxes.

A normal person would have reeled from this shock and panicked. I went to a movie premiere with my wife. I did say that budgeting isn't fun, and the premiere was an invitation from my friends at Lucine Distribution and Blue Flower Productions called "The Child Within." This was an interesting movie, and I think still in it's rough cut stages, but it seems to have a lot of potential, and besides getting to wine and schmooze with industry people is always fun.
The film is about an eastern European girls who is tricked into coming to the US and is bought and sold in a human trafficking ring and how she fights back.

I need to at this point explain to you folks that the reason that I have not posted any pictures for a while is because I have had a bum computer and have been unable to post photos top the internet.

My loving brother, KOTWF, and president of the Marietta Branch of the Too Much Fun Club has graciously mailed me a new used machine so that I may get to the photos that you all want to see.

So, with out further ado (I always wanted to say that), I leave you all with some fun photos.

Christmas Eve on the Beach

Getting ready to go out on New Years Eve

Santa Likes Remy

Rachel Ray Hosts a Caviar Dinner

The Arbiter Weighs In

out of date celebrities and reluctant icons

2007-02-27T01:23:00.000-08:00

Howdy Friends, I know that it's been awhile since any of us have posted with the club, but I'm trying again, so bite it. I have been working at the Barnes and Nobles Starbuck's cafe, and haven't been having that much fun, ergo, I haven't written for a while. But I am now making a genuine effort to post again, regardless of the fun had or not.
The fact is that I live in LA and, as you would expect, there are the occasional celebrity sightings. You become used to it and seeing a celebrity in an un-glamorous situation is not really interesting. Tonight, however, something interesting happened at the cafe. An older gentleman has been coming in every night for the past 3 weeks. He seems in good shape and his hair, which he wears long, and his beard are both white. Every day he comes in and takes a table in the corner, orders "Hot Cinnamon Sunset" tea, puts on some headphones and plays chess for like 6 or 8 hours. Today I asked him if we was winning and he said, "I always win when I play." My reply was something along the lines of, "cool. Who are you, Bobby Fischer?" He flashed an uncomfortable smile and said "can I have my tea please." I replied, "Holy Shit you are Bobby Fischer. Teach me to play." The man smiled again, took his tea, went back to his table and packed it all up and left in a hurry.
I don't think that what I did was too out of line, but then I remembered that Bobby Fischer is crazy. He hates people and celebrity. He is a crazy hermit living out in Pomona, so my approaching him undoubtedly made him uncomfortable. I kinda feel bad about the situation, and I hope he was not scared off permanently, I would like his auto-graph.
Now I know what you are thinking. You're saying too your self, "Now wait a minute, an autograph from an ancient chess master doesn't sound like too much fun. What club is this for?" And the only reply that I have is: if you have been paying attention you would understand that I am of at least two minds about most every aspect of life, and you would understand that, mentally, Bobby Fischer could kick my ass.

Physical Phitness and a love of Drink

2007-01-23T01:32:00.000-08:00

I don't understand why two things need to be completely, mutually, exclusive. I have a great desire to be healthy. I would like to live a long time and bare (bear) many children and live see if all my predictions for the year 2118 come true and son on and so forth. But I love to drink and smoke and indulge in acts of physical pleasure that most bone saws (that would be Doctor to all you people who respect the profession) would frown upon. I am not currently unhealthy, but I do have a tendency towards imbibment and I am afraid that in the future this will affect me.

In retrospect (or current spect I guess) this is kind of a silly topic for tonight's rant, but the fact of the mater is I am bored, It is 2 of the clock in the morning and I don't want to sleep. I have bourbon, my book on Teddy Roosevelt (which is very good, it won the Pulitzer) and a computer, so I am bitching and showing an affinity for run-on sentences and comma splices. So I will go on to a different issue.

Book Collecting.

I, Todd (which is a Scotch Gaelic word meaning fox and the Spanish word for fox is Zorro, therefore I am Zorro) am a geek. This is a sad realisation I came to recently. It is true I make the best Martini you have ever tasted and it is true that I can seduce any woman I meet (if I try and/or really care to) I can out box, out drink and out fuck any person that you know, but I am a geek. I love almost nothing more than to sit quietly with a good book and relax with my wife. I have and extensive collection of Hemingway, Kipling and Hunter Thompson novels (first or second editions) and I can argue the finer points of Todd McFarland's career at Marvel comics with anyone I meet.

This seems to tie into my whole problem with dichotomy (thank God for spell check). How is it possible that 2 things that are so different can exist inside of one person or one idea. The only logical answer is that I am in fact one with the cosmos and will exist forever.

Don't worry, I'm already deciding what to drink at your funeral.

So I'm a six...

2007-01-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

I took an enneagram test today after work, and it said I was a six. I am the loyal skeptic. This makes some sense to me but it seems to be inherently an oxymoron. Which also makes sense to me. Basically this means that I am loyal, almost to a fault, of my friends and family, but I will almost always question authority and am a basic anarchist. I work hard and try to help others, but I thrive on the edge of chaos. I am my own worst enemy. It also claims that I come from parents that are alcoholic and send mixed signals and that I may not always know how to relate to them (how the fuck did it know that) but I will be loyal to them to the end.

This is all fine and good, the truly weird part of this test is that it is only 2 questions and it got pretty deep into how I am. Am I really that shallow and predictable? What about variations? What about the fact that I am a 24 karat manic depressive and change my mind about life almost daily? This is very strange. However, if you would like to take this test, you can link to it

HERE.

A Certified Case of Ivory Abuse

2007-01-16T22:40:00.000-08:00

There is nothing a piano likes more than to be abused. I love a piano. This is true and I will tickle the ivories all night long. I will stroke them and touch them lovingly and bring the melody forward. However, there is nothing those 88 keys like more than to be abused. A good session is one where at the end of it your knees are skinned up and there are blood stains on the ebony. A piano is magic and it is an animal and you must learn to love it and live as one with this Ivory toothed monster...and when you do, it will fulfill you.

Really don't mind if you sit this one out

2007-01-15T02:23:00.000-08:00

I have broken the cardinal rule of the Too Much Fun Club. I am not having any fun. I know that this is an expected occurrence in a tumultuous life, however I don't really enjoy it when it happens. The fact of the matter is I love my Wife and I love my life, unfortunately right now I am so focused on surviving that the living part of life is not happening. It's true I drink more than I should, and I laugh every single day, but I work. I work a lot. Yes, you are saying, everyone works. But here is the problem. I am working an opposite schedule from my beautiful wife whom I adore and love with all of my heart. And I don't have anytime to enjoy that which I am working for. I understand the principle of working for another day and I am very fine with this, however, It is not fun. AND I have not had the kind of adventures that you people are expecting me to have. The adventures that would fit nicely under a heading in the Too Much Fun Posts. I'm just Bitching. and I'm Sorry. 'Nuff Said.

People say I'm a drinker...but I'm sober half the time

2007-01-09T00:36:00.000-08:00

Me: Do you know who Credence Clearwater Revival are?
Flash (A girl I work with): Are they like the backstreet boys?

This is a true to life transcription of a conversation I had with at work tonight. I was truly aghast. Here I was, trying to bring the gift of music to the masses and introduce them (albeit slowly) to the ways of Too Much Fun, and I was confronted with ignorance. You see, I had just purchased the new album by Jerry Lee Lewis, entitled "Last Man Standing," and I was playing it in the kitchen. One of the songs performed on this disc is "Travelling Band," originally by CCR. I was explaining to my co-workers (all infants by the way) about the history of Rock and Roll and Jerry Lee's importance as well as others in shaping that history. It truly makes me weep that kids today have no idea who these people are or what they did for music. I'm not disparaging today's rockers, there are many current bands that I enjoy, but I also firmly believe that those that did it first need to be recognized and appreciated. If it weren't for Jerry Lee Lewis, there would be no Rolling Stones, If no Rolling Stones than no Led Zeppelin, If no Zeppelin than no Sex Pistols, If no Pistols, no Green Day, Etc ad infinitum. These are the folk that forged the music we enjoy today and they were and are truly groundbreaking. On "Last Man Standing," (A fine disk that everyone should give a listen to) Jerry Lee even does a duet with Kid Rock. Talk about fantastic stuff.

I thank God every day that I was raised in an environment that allowed me the experiences that I have had, and too learn about stuff that isn't force fed to us by the media. In short I am believe that I am one of the last free thinkers to walk this world. I don't like something just because it is "underground" nor do I accept what a magazine tells me is good. I make up my own mind after my own experiences...and then I accept the consequences, but no matter what I know that I have made that choice and that there is no-one to blame but me and me alone. I attempt to broaden minds as I go along, I do not reject things that are "corporate", (unless it that thing truly is bad, then I will reject it with all the strength of my being, like those fucking cucumbers(some day cucumbers, someday, I will destroy you all)) But I also appreciate the things that are independent. Aren't we all trying to be independent ourselves?

Some days I feel that I should just give up and let the youth of today suffer in their ignorance, but then I consider the artists that go un-admired.

An artist without an audience is just masturbating.

The 2006 Holiday Season

2007-01-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

This years New Year's eve was one of the most fun I can remember in recent history, in spite of the down side, of which there is always at least one. First of all, I worked on New Year's Eve. I am a barrista, as you should know if you have been faithfully reading the blogs of this justified sinner and party boy (at least as faithful as I have been in publishing). Fortunately we closed the bookstore and therefore the coffee shop at 6:00, which means I was able to get out of that place by 7:00. I was not completely caught unprepared for the festivities however, and as such I brought three flasks to work with me filled respectively with Scotch, Vodka and Irish Cream. These ibibements were enough to help those faithful workers among us get through the evening of inanities at the coffee shop with out taking a hostage.
When the Tank and I got home after work we showered and cleaned up and dressed in our best and were to paint the town a lovely blood red to go with the eyes. Myself, the Tank, The Sharkman and Mr. Sober left our apartment at around 8:00 looking for diversion. Unfortunately the first joint we visited would not let us in. We looked great but unfotunately we over-looked the fact that we needed a reservation to get into the "Tempe Piano Bar" on Ventura. I am ashamed to admit that at this point I panicked. My internal organs function only with a perfectly tuned balance of Lust, Gin, Violence and sea-food and I was afraid I would be thrown off my groove. Luckily just down the street from the Tempe is a great little joint called "Marmalade Cafe," and they always let me in. Parking on the other hand turned out to be an issue. Resorting to desperation I jumped out of the jeep that Mr. Sober was driving and directed traffic on the busy boulevard so that we could get a decent spot, and we entered with zero incident. Kelly, the bartender, seemed to anticipate our arrival and he had my martini already prepared. A perfect 4 to 1 mixture of Bombay and vermouth with a twist of lemon and no olive. I downed it at once to prevent any further mishaps of rage and vertigo. We sat in the corner and ordered. It was a fantastic meal of appetizers (that's all I ever get there...it's all I need) and booze. I had my Martinis, the Sharkman had Tanquerey and Tonics, The Tank had Pinot Grigio and Mr. Sober had diet Pepsi. We ordered Calamari, Bruschetta, Nachos with Guac and some soup. A great time was had, even if I was over served. We returned home so that we could continue the party, meet up with my wife (who also had to work) and watch the ball drop in Times Square.
When we returned to the pad I immediately broke out the gin, as it had been 20 minutes since my last drink and once you really get going the tendency is to keep it up till you can't stand. Unfortunately, there didn't appear to be any mixer, at least any mixer that I wanted, so I began drinking the gin straight with only a couple of ice cubes. Everyone else was drinking Champagne. Wisely I had bought a case plus some at cost-co in preparation for the festivities. The rest of the evening went exactly as you might expect from a gathering of the too much fun club, including the champagne cork battle at the end of the evening. As a side note, those sons a bitches hurt when they hit you. To bed at around 3:30 and up again at ten...it sucks but I had to work. Thank God I work at a place where the coffee flows like water.

It's hard to explain to a non-drug person what this means

2006-12-19T04:30:00.000-08:00

I hear Mariachi static on my radio
And the tubes they glow in the dark
And I'm there with her in Ensenada
And I'm here in Echo Park

Carmelita hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town

Well, I'm sittin' here playing solitaire
With my pearl-handled deck
The county won't give me no more methadone
And they cut off your welfare check

Carmelita hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town

Well, I pawned my Smith Corona
And I went to meet my man
He hangs out down on Alvarado Street
By the Pioneer chicken stand

Carmelita hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town

Carmelita hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town

Nothing Ruins the Taste of Gin Like Vap-O-Rub

2006-11-30T14:28:00.000-08:00

hello friends, Its been a while, and a long couple of weeks, since my last post, but there are reasons for this. I am not going to go into them all now, maybe at some other time, but if you were to watch the film "The Level," which is to be released middle of the year 2007, you will see me acting the part of a waiter. This is of course only part of the cause of my delay, there was a death in the family, I was arrested in Ohio, strip searched at an airport, Heather got a cold and the new James Bond movie was released. But that is neither here nor there. This posting is mostly just going to be a lesson. Never drink Gin while applying Vicks Vap-O-Rub, the smell is noxious and really negatively effects the juniper flavor.

As more adventures come around, I will post more, I promise.

In the mean time check out the Crook Brothers Website. They are the directors of the Level and they have produced other award winning films besides.

Mourning

2006-11-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

Hello friends, This is a very short blog and I will probably not be posting for a little while because there has been a death in the family. I will resume in a week when our lives have settled down again.

All Saint's day on an Empty Stomach

2006-11-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

I thought it was gonna be terrible. The evening did not start out well. I left work at my usual time 5:30 ish and went home, where I promptly discovered we were out of both Gin and Scotch. I don't know how things got to this point, but they needed to be remedied, so I ran quickly across the street to the Cambridge Market for some booze. I did not have very much money, so I could only buy one. I settled on the Scotch. It turned out to be a very reasonably priced (I am pinching pennies(somewhat)), smoky and flavourful Single Malt, which I can't remember the name of to save my life. After getting the scotch you'ld have thought my evening would improve. And you would be wrong. I went home and began preparing dinner. I did this before pouring my drink, which clearly was the mistake, but I was in a hurry because the Sharkman, The Wife and myself were going to go to a Halloween party/ haunted house. I was making my home-made, from scratch Sloppy-Joes. These are normally fantastic and about 16 times less expensive then already prepared Sloppy-Joe sauce. I began browning and seasoning the meat...it was going great...when all of a sudden, the Nutmeg, which I was conservatively applying, burst open coating the pan, the meat, the kitchen and myself in a brown powdery sticky substance (yes, that is Nutmeg.) I immediately panicked and poured myself a double scotch, neat, before one of the neighbor children got hurt. I had to save the dinner, so I shouvled as much Nutmeg as I could out of the meat before it became too sunk in. Then I added sherry, vinegar and a fuck-tonne of Tobasco to try and balance the flavours out. The unfortunate result was Sloppy-Joes that were better with Catsup. This detered us not, and we scarfed down our meals quickly before jumping out the door.

The Area that we designated to meat is just 2 miles from my apartment, which turned out to be serendipitous, as we had to fly back quickly. See, we were under the impression that since we were going to a haunted house, that we should not change into a costume, ao we arrived in street clothes. Everyone else (granted it was only like 4 other people) was in costume. We felt silly and out of place, and I had no booze. We raced back to the apartment so that we quickly may change. My Wife opted at tis point t ogo as herself, she had been dressed as a clown all day, including makeup, for her class and she was tired of dress, and I don't blame her one bit, If I had had to do that sort of non-sense all day I probably woulden't have gone out at all, but she did. Kudos for you baby! The Sharkaman dressed himself as, and took on the mannerisms of Doctor Strangelove. That was very cool. I threw on my kilt, filled my flask and took on the mannerisms of myself only Scottish. Clearly I was going for a stretch, but hey why not. We then raced back to the place of gathering. We took some pictures, had some cocktails, listened to music and flirted heavily. Finally the night was turning out OK.

We left as a group for this haunted house at about 9:30. I had no idea what to expect, I was told that it was free to get in, so my hopes were not very high, but hey, I was wearing a kilt and had a flask of Scotch, so I was not going to complain. When we got there I was shocked. Let me tell you folks, this place was amazing. It was somebodies house that they had set up into a haunted house. It wasn't overly scary because it was for younger kids, but the design was out of this world. It was a pirates of the caribean theme and this guy had working cannons, working pistols, a sword fight and even a sunk pirate ship made up into his pool. There were many volunteers all dressed as ghouls and skeltens of the deep and there were written and acted out skits. This truly was amazing. I respect the hell out of this guy.

After the show we went our seperate ways with the Sharkman, the Wife and myself heading back home for a nightcap and bed, It is a weekday, and we all work. When we got home though, I realised that I had to clean the kitchen yet, so I set too it while playing a drinking game I just made up called, "everytime a kid outside yells, do a shot." What a neat game, unfortunatly I got to the point where I thought it would be a good idea to pack left over Sloppy- Joes for lunch. Never mind the fact that they weren't very good, and I had no convenient way to trasport them and eat them. At the point of this writing, I am sitting at work wondering if I should risk the eating, or just go hungry till dinner tonight. I think hunger will win out.

Drink to the Dead

2006-10-30T16:11:00.000-08:00

Greetings Faithful readers and unknown members, allow me if you will to spin the yarn of our adventures this past weekend. In honour of the coming holiday, some members of the Los Angeles branch of the Too Much Fun Club went to a pumpkin festival. This particular festival was being held at Pierce College just down the road from our current head-quarters. The Sharkman, The Wiff and myself figured fun could be had for minimal cost, and we began our trek on Sunday Night at about 6:15pm. Our original plan was to go and check it out, not spend too much money and of course, to have fun. Arriving at the festival at approximately 6:30pm, I wasn't too impressed, there was a stage set up where a Danzig cover band was muddling through a poor mix of "Twist of Cain", there was an inflatable slide, a jump machine, which seemed pretty cool, a five car Ferris wheel and a Corn Maze. What? A Corn maze how cool is that?!? Immediately upon noticing it, the corn maze grabbed our attention. We sidled up to the line that led to the entrance of the maze in order that we might investigate further. We were at first dis-heartened by the sign, because it stated that the cost of the maze was Twelve dollars per person above and beyond the cost of admission. The biggest problem here, of course, was that we did not in fact pay to get in. We just walked in and nobody stopped us. Once again however, my Amazing Wife the wiff solved our problems. She immediately began searching out families that had small children and talked them all up. After befriending them, they invariably gave her a ticket because "it looks too scary for out little one." That woman is amazing. I am not at this advocating anything dishonest. We neither stole nor swindled, we simply talked to people who were not going to go through the maze anyway.
At This point let me tell you about the Corn Maze. It was set in a corn field of unknown acreage and the trail itself was approximately a mile long. They did not allow any flashlights, cell-phones or cameras into the maze and it was very very dark. We began walking at an easy pace with no view of the people in front of us or behind us because entrances are timed. Walking through the maze itself was very cool. There were many twists and turns and nooks and crannies throughout. When the monsters began jumping out at us it got very interesting. The wiff, close to the very beginning got so scared that she collapsed into a little ball, unfortunately while doing so she head-butted my elbow and blackened her own eyes. (note the picture) Then further on through the maze she froze completely when the chainsaw man approached her. After some prodding that we needed to continue She took off running Shouting at the top of her lungs "I KNOW YOU"RE THERE!" All of the ghouls were forced to get out of her way. We all had a great laugh after it was through and I really respect the job that was done. The maze was efficient, very well put together, the employees knew their jobs very well and it was genuinely frightening.
When we left the festival we had some pizza and gin. It was a good night. I'm looking forward to the Haunted house that we are going to on Tuesday. I'll keep you all posted.

Drink to the dead all you still alive
We shall join them in good time
May you go marching in three measure time
Dressed up as asses, drunk to the nines
Swing from the rafters
Shouting those songs
Gone unsung for far too long

My attention span and ...

2006-10-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

I never know from day to day what is going to happen in my apartment. For instance in the past month I have had a wedding in my apartment, and a crazy lady who ate my chocolate. These are of course different stories for a different time. This is a story about last night. "But Todd," your saying to yourself," I want to hear the stories of crazy people and weddings." To which my reply is "there's what, 3 of you that will ever read this, so fuck off, I'll tell the story I want." And yes that boys and girls was a run on sentence...Where was I..? Oh Yes, last night. I left work early because I was really pissed off trying to convince HTML that it was able to do 2 client side includes with out turning into a toaster and went home and started drinking. That is after all how I solve all of my problems.

After minutes of fun with a rainbow colored Martini glass, both Sharkman and the Wiff came home. We had some dinner that I made in between shots of flaming Sake (another story for another time(Fuck Off kotwf...My blog)) it was some sort of island teriyaki chicken with rice and beans. It was pretty good...And filling. The wiff went off to do some homework (yes lady and gentleman (note that it is singular) she is a teacher. Cool huh?) And the sharkman and I got down to some serious drinking.

Originally we were going to watch the game, I do on occasion like baseball, and it is the world series. As the game was rained out we realized that we had to wither come up with something else to do...Or we would be forced to watch re-runs of "the war at home." With these choices in front of us we flipped madly through the channels hoping for something to catch our eyes(s). Eventually we landed on the Asian Television Network. Let me tell you folks that if you have never sat and watched Asian TV, you are seriously missing the boat. NO it is not in English, nor are there subtitles. This is part of the fun. If you get a room full of drunks (more people showed up of course, charter members of the club) especially the friends of the club, hey will make up their own lines and stories...And drinking games. Yes my friend it was a long evening of drinking games in a language none of us would ever understand, followed by surfing the net for facts on Chuck Norris. This may not seem like much to you, but I assure you, fun was had and virgins were conquered...Or something like that any way.

Res Ipso Loquitor

2006-10-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Even a Slow Weekend can Offer a Diversion

2006-10-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

It was indeed a sloe weekend. See...one of the problems with growing up is that as an adult there are certain responsibilities that you have and sometimes shit needs to get done. However, because I want to believe that there are people out there that will read this and I have a big enough ego to think that what I say is important, I am doing a post anyway. I discovered this weekend, thanks in large part to the New York Times, a new game. There are those out there that play fantasy football, I don't really understand this. I like to watch football, but I to create my own dream team of different players and then use an arbitrary scoring system that has little relevance to the actual games seems silly. I am however going to start playing Fantasy Politics. What's fantasy politics you ask? Well friends allow me to enlighten you. There is a website, the link is: www.fantasycongress.us, and on this website you can create a "team" of members of congress and score points for how well they navigate the morass of the legislative system and get bills made into laws. Sounds like a little bit too much fun doesn't it...well read our charter; too much fun is what we are all about.

Now, I leave you on a completely unrelated note, the lyrics to "French Inhaler", by Warren Zevon. Because it's my blog and I can.:

(Warren Zevon)

How're you going to make your way in the world
When you weren't cut out for working
When your fingers are slender and frail
How're you going to get around
In this sleazy bedroom town
If you don't put yourself up for sale

Where will you go with your scarves and your miracles
Who's gonna know who you are
Drugs and wine and flattering light
You must try it again till you get it right
Maybe you'll end up with someone different every night

All these people with no home to go home to
They'd all like to spend the night with you
Maybe I would, too

But tell me
How're you going to make your way in the world, woman
When you weren't cut out for working
And you just can't concentrate
And you always show up late

You said you were an actress
Yes, I believe you are
I thought you'd be a star
So I drank up all the money,
Yes, I drank up all the money,
With these phonies in this Hollywood bar,
These friends of mine in this Hollywood bar

Loneliness and frustration
We both came down with an acute case
And when the lights came up at two
I caught a glimpse of you
And your face looked like something
Death brought with him in his suitcase

Your pretty face
It looked so wasted
Another pretty face
Devastated
The French Inhaler
He stamped and mailed her
"So long, Norman"
She said, "So long, Norman"

A hard fought weekend and another year survived

2006-10-16T15:31:00.000-07:00

When you wake up on Saturday in your clothes and you're not sure of where you are...You know it was a good party. Such was the aftermath of the annual birthday celebration for my Queen. The party this year was a little bit more impromptu, as her royal drunkenness was sick with a stomach virus through most of the week, and we weren't sure if we would even be able to celebrate. Fortunately, the fear of going through the birthday weekend with-out a bacchanal was a little much, and her humours quickly came back into balance when the party was threatened and Thursday night we began planning. We called several of our friends and co-revelers and announced the get together, to which the reply was a mighty "Huzzah!" (which I think means "yay!" but I'm not too sure.) and the party was indeed penned in for the following night.

Immediately after I left the building of my employment on that Friday (Oct. 13, the day of the party for those of you not paying attention) I went to my apartment and grabbed Jeffrey the Jeff and we went shopping. Of course we needed Gin and Tequila, Limes and Corona, Lobster and Baguettes, butter and salt, but we also needed sixteen pounds of peanut butter M&M's, four bags of ice, sherry, Chocolate cake, plastic spoons, trick candles, and a cattle prod (hey...You never know.) We then raced back to the apartment to prepare. The first thing we did upon walking through the door was mix up "Captain Martin" for the Jeff and my self, as we were going to be cooking, we needed the Dutch courage, followed by us going back out to the car to get the necessities as in our rush we left them in the trunk. Now we were set. We started boiling the water and we waited. And we waited. And we waited. The birthday girl was getting pretty bored so she began making her specialty Margharita (for those of you faithful readers who don't yet know, these are mostly tequila and a splash of lime, over ice. Makes for an interesting evening, let me tell you.) Finally the water began to boil and I was able to send the sea-roaches to the big casino. At this point I felt that it would be best if I took over drink making from the queen, especially since the guests began arriving and most of them like a little more than lime flavored tequila in their Margharitas.

As soon as the first guest arrived, they all seemed to arrive, and before long we had a household of folk dancing and laughing and merrymaking. It is exactly what you could expect from a get together of the too much fun club. We celebrated from 7-ish till way way late and enjoyed every minute of it. The bisque was fantastic, the gin was crisp and good and the cake was cake. Once again, true believers, too much fun was had, we just wish you all had been there too.

2006-10-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Our first contoversy, and a test of our character.

Greetings true believers, I didn't expect to be writing again so soon, but there have been certain events that I feel need to be mentioned. Upon viewing my writings of yesterday, a member has asked to be removed from the honour roll. I have to admit that I am a little bit hurt by the fact that someone would wish to be dis-associated from me and mine publicly, however, as I said, we are at core good people, so I will do as this person wishes. I have to wonder though, what sort of fear and loathing exists in a persons heart that would makle them re-act in a such a negative way to an informal society dedicatated to laughter. Is it a terror of the "net" and the wackos out there and what they may do? or is it a hatred of fun itself? Though I don't really believe that that last one is truly the case, as I have seen this person have fun. No it must be the misgivings of personal privacy and the anxiety that someone else may know you exist that would make this person ask this. I am a man of my word however and my character is strong, so I have done my friends bidding. I bare no ill-will towards this person and I wish them all the happiness and fun that they can manage.

A short blog today, and a sad note...but I guess we really are too much fun.

2006-10-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

The Blood Sport of the Internet

Blogging...it seems to me that this is the wave of the future. I have seen the stars turn in the heavens and I have seen a strong man cry. Now I have joined the techno-age and all shall cower before the greatness of my wit, wisdom, grace and really bitchin sword...Just playing. I have, though, looked at the world at large and seen that all who posess any margin of techno-know-how and an ego are posting a blog, and I figured,"why not? Shit...could be fun." Besides I believe that people are interested in me and the wacky antics of my hangers on, so...here goes.

My name is Todd, or The Todd, or Burning Daylight, or Baghdad Jones, or The Cloudgatherer...and I am the founding member of the too much fun club. We are a group of people who are dedicated to a life of enjoyment, bacchanalia, sport, politics, rum, music, mischief, and of course fun. This is not to say that we are a group of degenerate wastrals who do nothing that is not related in some way to debauchery and merry-making. We all have real jobs and are, for the most part, decent people. We have just come to the realisation that life only happens to those that live it and when your time is done, you are done. Not to discredit religion and the soul, but I may not be back.

Other member of the club (also known as the honour roll) are as follows:

Heather Elliott (My Wife)
Jeff Potts (My Roommate)
Joseph Baker (A random Fella)
Neil Witherell (Nextdoor Neighbor)
Trystan Hill (My Australian)
David Monge (My Token Hispanic Friend)
The Arbitor (Heather's Turtle)
Mark Metzger (My Director)
Dr. Hunter Stockton Thompson (President Emeritus)

honourary members include (but are not limited too):

W. Trent Elliott (my brother)
Jenny Elliott (his wife)
Mallory Elliott (The Cutest)
Tanner O'Connor (My Other Brother)
Tiffany Elliott (My sister)
Skip Hobba (My Cousin)
Kirby Hobba (His Wife)
Kayla Hobba (The Cutest number 2)
Jasmine (The Cutest number 3)
John and Trish Miller (Good Friends and Original Members)
Tony Gultice (My Hacker)
David and Maria Combs (Too much Fun, Middletown Branch)
Ginger and Mike O'Connor and Scott and Amy Elliott (My parents and without whom I would not even know what too much fun was)

That's all for now. and now that you know who we are, I will begin to post stories of our adventures as well as pictures as soon as I load them.

Watch out world...here's lookin up yer kilt.